One-A-Days: One-Minute Plays!

Updated: Feb 20

One-A-Days One-Minute Plays! To goose my brain From it's lazy haze. Fast to write, Even faster to read. When a little something Is all you need.


ROOM 5104

(Day #1)

(She and He outside a hotel room door. It is very late. She tries to open it with a key card without success.)

HE

This is not our room.

SHE

Yes, it is.

HE

Not.

SHE

Is.

HE

You’re drunk.

SHE

Churchill.

HE

No, Dave. Your husband? Nice to meet you.

SHE

Winston. I’ve told you this story. (English accent) “I may be drunk, madame, but when I wake up tomorrow, I shall be sober. But tomorrow, madame, you will still be ugly."

HE

Nice. An hour ago you couldn’t stop saying how cute I am.

SHE

You’re ugly on the inside. Whenever I’m right, you get mean.

HE

This is not our room.

SHE

Yes it is!

HE

Shh! People are sleeping.

SHE

No they’re not because this is our room.

HE

You are terrible with numbers. What date is our anniversary?

SHE

You kept changing the date because you didn’t want to marry me. And now you bring me to Cancun.

HE

That’s a crime?

SHE

I’ve been to Cancun. You brought you to Cancun.

HE

And you were the one weeping on the beach this morning, “The sunrise! The colors! I love Cancun!”

SHE

And you were the one who was so embarrassed watching me that you looked like you wanted the ground to swallow me up. I saw you. Well, I’ll grant you your wish. As soon as I get in this room I’m leaving.

(She tries the key.)

HE

Don’t!

SHE

It’s our room!

HE

Then why doesn’t the key work?

SHE

Because nothing works! (she weeps) I hate you. (weeps) I have to stop drinking. Don’t you dare agree with me.

HE

I like it when you cry.

SHE

You’re a sadist. You like me to feel things so you don’t have to.

HE

Is that so bad?

SHE

I like to feel.

HE

I like to feel – this.

(He cups her butt.)

SHE

I love you.

(She kisses him.)

HE

Gimme that.

(He tries the key.)

SHE

Honey, wait –

HE

(loudly) Why doesn’t this work?

SHE

Shh! Stop! Now I remember! We're on two.

(He rattles the door handle.)

HE

No, we're not. Open up!

SHE

sI remember because it rhymes with I love you.

VOICE

(off)

Adorable. And she's right - this is not your room!

HE & SHE

(beat, then) Sorry!

(They run off, laughing.)

© 2018 by Beth Blatt. All Rights Reserved.